Self-Worth, What Could We Do to Improve This?
Author: Emma Weatherstone - Counsellor
To be human is to have a sense of our own self-worth and what we will accept. Experiences and relationships that enter our life and how long they stay, can be affected by a healthy self-esteem. Self-esteem and how we perceive or value ourselves, can have a significant effect on our ability to love and be loved, to live a great life and to thrive.
“If you want to be successful, you must respect one rule. Never lie to yourself.”
- Paulo Coelho
In the middle of the night, I will lay awake and contemplate the usual things;
our existence,
the power of the mind,
other civilizations in space,
should we be doomsday prepping- just in case,
what sort of food is eaten in the afterlife,
is it possible to communicate with others through dreams,
should we all talk regularly to a therapist,
how to spend more time in nature,
the many ways to be a better person.
You know, the usual things!
While being happy in life is one thing- having a healthy self-esteem is quite different.
Factors such as being bullied in school, feeling like you didn’t fit in, abusive home life (physical and emotional), body dysmorphia, gender and/or sexual confusion, and whether you were taught how to deal with your emotions appropriately all play a large role in our self-esteem and self-worth.
You have probably heard the saying by Eleanor Roosevelt: “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent”, but we all know that people will still damn well try.
So, essentially, it comes down to the way in which we speak to ourselves.
It is believed that the average person has between 12,000 and 60,000 thoughts per day, an internal dialogue, most of which we aren’t even consciously aware of. Our sub-conscious though, well it’s always listening- and it trusts you.
“Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habit. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.”
- Lao Tzu
There are a few ways that could assist in improving one’s self-esteem. Below are some pointers pulled from popular theories and beliefs that could assist both you and I on our journey to better self-worth:
Calming the mind- living more in the present moment, meditation, mindfulness, breath work.
Getting external help- talking with a psychologist, accessing cognitive behavioural therapy, inner-child work.
Standing up for oneself- leaving toxic relationships, saying no to abuse in any form, setting boundaries, not being a people pleaser.
Being kinder to oneself- work on loving self-talk, being grateful, practising self-love and self-care, being honest with yourself and other people.
Living a healthy balanced life- proper nutrition, gut health, exercise, pursuing passions, helping, or giving to others.
Find your tribe- feeling as though you belong, being heard, and being accepted for who you are, this can include connection to a church or religion/faith/practise.
Everybody deserves to feel worthy, and loved, in this lifetime- especially YOU!
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